What I learned now that I'm almost 35
On the horizon soon, I got plans. I'm getting BBQ with friends and attending a poetry event. I'm not an ancient well of wisdom that lives in the middle of the forest in a magical spring to tell you the secrets of life. I'm just another stranger you will most likely never meet.
So here we go:
A friendship truly ends when you ignore the fact that you both will change.
People change all the time. Their interests, their views, their desires, their dreams may divert slightly, and just their lives in general. When you meet someone its usually because of mutuals who share common ideas and interests. A baking class, a book club, or a video game lobby as a few examples. Eventually one of you may stop reading or playing that game because priorities change. Maybe one of you decides to start a band or become an activist so playing that game or baking a cake every Tuesday is no longer possible. So, depending on what they are doing and who they are, do you decide to ask them to tell you more about what they are interested in and try it. Or do you stay at the baking class. Slowly over time the calls get less frequent. Then one day realize you haven't spoken in 2 years.
This is not always the case of course. Falling outs, a gross disservice, and massive changes of someone views in a direction that's so wild to you that can cut a relationship completely. What I am referring to is you are both going to change and grow in all sorts of directions. So, ask yourself if you want to keep that person in your life beyond the video game nights.
Family is just a group of people who happen to be related. Like friendship it takes lots of work to keep everyone together and trust each other.
There is this false idea I think people have that being family is enough to keep people together. I can tell you from experience that is 100% not true. Most of my family never calls, we never see each other beyond holidays, and I never go to their homes that much. This was a thing all my life. I only see my immediate family like parents and siblings with their partners on a regular basis. A bunch of my family does their own thing or travels all the time, so I never know what they are doing. I respect them sure, but I don't know a thing about them because we rarely hang out. Now my friends I see all the time. We hang out online, in person, at events, share gifs on our phones, etc. I trust them so much because we built a strong relationship. Family members are just people that can easily become strangers. From what I was told as I got older, there were some within the family that shouldn't be trusted at all. They disappeared from the holiday events as a result. If you want that strong family network like from the movies, call them and make plans outside of holidays.
Being curious is the best thing to be
Curiosity invites you to try new things even in the worst of times. Being open to new possibilities. Try a new book in a genre you never read. Try doing something you never thought you would. I had to take lots of leaps of faith to be the person I am and I'm still not done figuring it all out. Not to mention curiosity means, leaving things behind that you realize were not suiting you anymore.
So there you go. These are a few things I grew up figuring out. Have a good month!